“Men, Special Forces is a mistress. Your wives will envy her, because she will have your hearts. Your wives will be jealous of her because of her power to pull you away.
This mistress will show you things never before seen and you will experience things that you have never before felt. She will love you, but only a little, seduce you to want more, to give more, and to die for her.
She will take away from the ones you love, and you will hate her for it, but leave her you never will, but if you must, you will miss her, for she is a part of you that will never be returned intact.
And in the end she will leave you for a younger man.”
~ James R. Ward, OSS Det. 101
Out to Pasture
On May 1st, 2017, I retired from the US Army after 25 years. I served in the Army’s Special Forces, commonly referred to as the “Green Berets,” for nearly 15 years. I celebrated my first day as a civilian in Le Py, France, while hiking the Chemin de Saint Jacques, a.k.a. the Camino de Santiago de Compostela. It was a quiet celebration among other pèlerins, or pilgrims. Strangely, I felt a dread or sorrow, knowing that I would never wear my Green Beret in an official capacity ever again.
365 Days Later
I feel the same way… being a Green Beret was a huge part of my life and identity. It’s weird, as a younger soldier in the Army, I strongly identified as a soldier when I was an Infantryman and Cavalryman. I spit-shined my boots, starched my uniform, and had a four-finger high-and-tight haircut for over a decade. After my Special Forces training and arrival to a Special Forces unit, I started to t-h-i-n-k I didn’t feel I was in the Army anymore. Sure, I knew I was still in the Army, but life on a Special Forces team is very not-Army.
Over the years, the cumulative effects of humping a heavy rucksack, jumping out of airplanes, bouncing around or getting blown up in HMMVs starts to take its toll in the form of general to acute aches, pains, or full-on arthritis. Before you know it you’re the “old guy” in the unit and you find yourself saying “yeah, this is a young guy’s game.” But then you’re out, and you’re really out. Sure, you can join a fraternal order such as the Special Forces Association in order to maintain ties and tabs on the goings-on of the Special Forces Regiment, but it is far from the same as life in a Special Forces team room.
The Younger Man
So why did I retire? Despite the fact that I had several years still to offer the Regiment, I found myself saying “yeah, this is a young guy’s game.” There is a fine tipping point between remaining relevant and providing value to the unit versus staying past your prime and becoming a liability. I wanted to retire before I was a liability or had become dead weight to the unit. So I handed the reigns to a competent, capable, younger replacement who I knew would care for the unit and the mission just as much as I did.
What About You?
Have you retired or have made a radical career change in your life? How do feel your transition went? And do you have any tips or recommendations for other as they transition?
